True Facts About Ross Kemp

[DRM]

Ross Kemps new show, The 6 Million Snifters Geezer, is about an East End Blagger who is seriously injured in a getaway car crash and then rebuilt by the NHS using parts from the skip behind the tv repair shop.

The USP is that some of the parts are from a seventies TV so he switches off at midnight.

Rumours have it, that he starts to play the National Anthem at 23:55 just before shut down, and he has to be switched on 5 minutes before needed, to let the valves warm up

 

[accountantpete]

The final stage of this year's Vuelta had to be abandoned today after the course was overrun by people scrambling to pay attention to their pensions.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp is to play the part of the Kurgan in the forthcoming Highlander remake.

However, he is struggling to learn his only line.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Ross Kemp once turned down a request to dive to the Titanic wreck in a rescue attempt. He said he wanted to finish his pint and the crossword and didn’t have his speedos with him.

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp is set to start his UK Tour, with his new ventriloquist act, Ross Kemp & Vic The Vulgar Chelsea Pensioner, a strictly over 18's show

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemps biceps are so big he needs a residents parking permit for each of them.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp has delared 'East End gangs are dead' and has publicly joined the Mafia.

 

[DRM]

Scientists have now acknowledged that Hurricane Katrina was the result of Ross Kemp belching after chugging a 2 litre bottle of Tango whilst sea fishing in the Gulf of Mexico

 

[Ming the Merciless]

BREAKING NEWS Ross has kidnapped the Children in Need bear

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp was considered to play Marko Ramius in the stage adaption of The Hunt For Red October, but he pulled out upon discovering there was no Russian words for ponce or slag.

 

[PeteXXX]

Ross Kemp was considered to play Marko Ramius in the stage adaption of The Hunt For Red October, but he pulled out upon discovering there was no Russian words for ponce or slag.

Yes there is!!! Понс & Шлак 😋

 

[accountantpete]

Ross Kemp is lined up for the title role in an RSC production of 'Enery V

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp recently ordered a projector for his house, however he's been working in Windsor, so he took it to his hotel to be able to watch Netflix, but he misread the instructions, what could possibly go wrong.........
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c78n455mj08o

 

[Dogtrousers]

The Bond character Rosa Klebb was based on Ross Kemp

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp was considered to play the part of Major "King" Kong in Dr Strangelove.

However, Ross Kemp's insistence that he ride a real atom bomb meant the part went to Slim Pickens.