True Facts About Ross Kemp

[DRM]

Ross Kemp is, on the quiet ,a highly qualified computer tech, however he is currently denying that his new Linux OS, called Slag OS was the cause of severe problems at Airports across Europe, as he went online with Heathrow Airports Guest WiFi to check in for his holiday in Benidorm

 

[Way-Out-West]

Ross Kemp's proudest moment was when he single handedly brought down The Red Hand Gang.

 

[accountantpete]

The East German Stasi were quick to poster over the Ross Kemp Is God graffiti on the Berlin Wall but left the Geoff Boycott script unmolested as he was deemed politically insignificant.

 

[DRM]

The East German Stasi were quick to poster over the Ross Kemp Is God graffiti on the Berlin Wall but left the Geoff Boycott script unmolested as he was deemed politically insignificant.

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The "Kilroy Woz Ere" graffiti started in East Berlin, where local youths, and Grenztruppen would see the top of a bald head, eyes and nose peeping over the wall, the name Kilroy was because they misheard Ross Kemp shout "Oi Oi, Saveloy" to them

 

[Dogtrousers]

When Ross Kemp was a kid, he would fly into a rage whenever Humpty appeared on Playschool, shrieking "You slag. Shut your norf and sarf you numpty Umpty!"

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp was hired by the soviets to tert the Berlin wall. Over the years he made 28 successful crossings undetected and by the late 80s the soviets realised they were on to a loser.

This pleased Kemp, who from then on found it so much easier to attend Moscow Dynamo ice hockey games.

 

[PeteXXX]

Ross Kemp is the secret love-child of Albert Tatlock & Ena Sharples. ♥️

 

[Dogtrousers]

When he grew up a little Ross Kemp started to watch the Muppets on TV. He suffered a major relapse of his television induced rage condition, telling "You muppets, Muppets". He yelled so hard that he cracked the screen a

 

[Drago]

There is an injunction preventing Ross Kemp from visiting the Coronation Street set or from publicly referring to Ken Barlow as "Dad."

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Ross Kemp is the world record holder for the most eggs cracked with one hand in a minute. He achieved the feat at a local village fete, much to the astonishment of the onlookers. Hence his nickname “egg head “

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp has recently been working with the SAS as as an instructor, teaching troopers how to wear a leather jacket while working undercover.

 

[Moon bunny]

Ross Kemp has recently been working with the SAS as as an instructor, teaching troopers how to wear a leather jacket while working undercover.

And pretend to be park gardeners by lightly forking the same patch over and over again.(Dungannon, 1989).

 

[Dogtrousers]

Ross Kemp has a warehouse entirely full of Banana Nesquick, just in case.

 

[accountantpete]

Ross Kemp is seeking a new house - preferably with a surrounding trench and tunnel system already installed.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Ross Kemp recently went on the rampage through the offices of BBC top brass.

A regretful Director General admitted: "We were so preoccupied with whether or not we could create Ross Kemp, we didn't stop to think if we should"