Would you evict your children?

[Drago]

Give him 3 months to straighten up or ship out.

 

[winjim]

isn't this most men irrespective of age when they leave home.

All joking aside, I think it is the case that some men are so 'looked after' by their mothers that they lack basic life skills, so for example when it's their turn to cook, it's chicken nuggets and chips, and they, perhaps even unconciously, see housework and homemaking as exclusively a female role. With both partners in a relationship these days generally working, it does place an unfair burden on women.

I can't believe most people who stay at home at 50 years of age do it because they are contented, there has to be an underlining issue, a fear maybe, mental health issue or something that has stopped them from leaving home.

Yeah, a friend of a friend in her 40s has a condition that has led to her living back at home (she did leave for a bit to go to university) although I don't neccessarily think that she herself would identify it as the reason. Such is the way with these things.

Even though I left home in my teens, I only recently in my late 30s felt that where I lived was 'home', when my wife and I moved into the house we bought together. Before that I'd either been renting, mainly by the room, or taken on part-ownership of a house which somebody else had bought.

 

[perplexed]

surely there must be some underlining issue,

I think they just can't be assed and it's now become habit. Partly that and unrealistic expectations - I distinctly recall a conversation a good 20 years ago when the topic cropped up and they said 'I can't find anything under half a million I like...' (Not that they were actually out looking).

 

[ozboz]

I do not think I could evict any of them , to be honest I wish I had a property big enough here in Richmond to put them up , BUT , they would have to tow the line , having said that I know they are all well motivated and are achieving quite well in their own fields , so eviction would probably not enter into it , ,

 

[MrPie]

My two (13 & 11) are already aware of the 90 day rule. From the age of 16: Full time edumacation = fully supported. Full time job = fully supported. Lazing around & taking the piss = 90 days to GTF out of my house.

 

[Drago]

90 days? You pushover you!

 

[winjim]

I am aware that my daughter did not ask to be brought into this world and that her mother and I are entirely responsible for her existence. She owes me nothing, I owe her everything. But part of that debt is teaching her to be a self sufficient, independent woman able to make a life for herself in this world.

Barnacle geese hatch their chicks high up on cliff tops, safely out of reach of predators. They do not feed their young, the chicks must join them to eat...

 

[JtB]

I’m glad we didn’t bring our children up in my wife’s country. Legal precedent in Spain holds that parents are obliged to provide for their children until they reach economic independence.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-39934674

It seems crazy to me that an appeal court in the north-western province of Galicia ruled that the father of a 33 year old able-bodied woman with a master’s degree had to pay her an allowance of €450 a month while she sought a job in keeping with her education. The ironic thing was that her parents probably made huge sacrifices to enable her to obtain a degree in the first place and this was how she repaid them.

 

[Drago]

Or maybe they simply can't be arsed?

 

[User65906]

I have a soon-to-be 24 year old who lays in bed all day ........waiting for XFactor to call him I think..............and it's driving me mental. We've always had problems with him but now it's serious, he's clutching at "careers", signing up, but giving up and then going back to bed. Tbh I always envisaged this position. His two younger siblings are up and running.

But I am 55, I have stuff to do, go back to Spain, live on a boat etc I look at him and think that he'll never have his own place, why should I continue to provide food, clothes and housing for him..........forever?

Hi, sorry to hear about your situation with your son, it's not easy knowing what to do
to do the right thing, I think you need to think of yourself, and what you want, and go for it,
people soon wise up when the gravy train stops rolling.

 

[Brains]

My brother and I left home together aged 19 and 20.
never moved back

Mrs Brains left home in her mid 20's, however her brother is the wrong side of 50 and still living at home.
Once the final parent has gone, I've already said he is not moving in with us.

 

[Black Sheep]

I can't believe most people who stay at home at 50 years of age do it because they are contented, there has to be an underlining issue, a fear maybe, mental health issue or something that has stopped them from leaving home.

Possibly now got to the stage where the off-spring feels that they're living at home to help look after the parents? My parents are getting to the point that I do worry about them sometimes, dad has memory issues, mum needs help sometimes with doing day to day tasks.

All joking aside, I think it is the case that some men are so 'looked after' by their mothers that they lack basic life skills, so for example when it's their turn to cook, it's chicken nuggets and chips, and they, perhaps even unconciously, see housework and homemaking as exclusively a female role. With both partners in a relationship these days generally working, it does place an unfair burden on women.

The wife works 3 days a week, I work 5 days, out of the house around 7.30, back home by 6 if I'm lucky, usually after 6.30. I thought I was doing a reasonable amount around the house but apparently not - nearly cost me my marriage, get the feeling she'd have been off if it wasn't for our daughter but that's given me chance to sort it and things are much better. I will point out that I can cook, but simply arrive home too late, she's started cooking before I arrive.

I left home while still at uni, simply stopped coming home during the summer!

 

[SpokeyDokey]

Back in 1972 my then best mate's girlfriend came home from school one day to be told that they were moving to Devon. She replied that she didn't want to live in Devon to which they replied that she wasn't invited! They said they wanted to realise a lifetime dream (news to the daughter) and, anyway, it was time she should stand on her own two feet.

This was completely out of the blue. The parents eventually sold the family house and moved and they paid for a flat for their daughter to live in until she was able to support herself some years later.

They all continued to have a good relationship for a good number of years afterwards although I eventually lost track of her so don't now how things panned out over the very long term.

 

[cyberknight]

Mrs CK moved straight from home into my house , she was uhm 28 ish as i cant remember the exact date /year as we have been together coming on 20 years and as i was used to doing all the cleaning/ diy/ washing / cooking she went from one to another.
To be fair she is ok now but i have never seen her dust /mop/ clean the bathroom/ garden etc yet although i get comments on how things look if i dont do them .

 

[screenman]

What is this microwave thingy, I thought it was a tv that only showed cookery programmes. I am not the most domesticated, although I can get by, what I am good at is paying bills, decorating, building projects, driving home from nights out or the pub, and quite a few more things.