Comedy one liners that stick.

[Ashtrayhead]

'Maths is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.'

'It's nukular, dummy. The 's' is silent'

'in Ireland there are more drunks per capita than people'

'We don't use the term 'insane'. We prefer 'mentally hilarious'

'Stinky McPoopypants'


(Family Guy)

 

[GentleBenn]

Harry Hill Again....

"The trouble with Heroin is , it's very moorish !

 

[threebikesmcginty]

The photo caption competition on HIGNFY quite a few years ago - pic was two seals.
Paul Merton said it was one saying to the other 'I keep thinking it's Tuesday!'
That's always tickled me!

 

[swee'pea99]

"I'll tell you what I want. I want a Last Supper with one Christ, 12 disciples, no kangaroos, by Tuesday lunchtime or you don't get paid!"

 

[Dayvo]

From the Young Ones (none of the four lads, but two coppers talking):

Cop 1) I upset the wife last night!

Cop 2) What d'ya do?

Cop 1) I said something about the Pope!

Cop 2) Tut, you know she's a Catholic!

Cop 1) Oh yeah, I know she's a Catholic: didn't know the Pope was!

 

[Dayvo]

9,999!

I know!

I was saving this one for something memorable, but it wasn't to be!

Just like the previous 9,999!

Your turn next, UM?

 

[Fnaar]

HurraH, CONGRATS mR dAYVO

 

[Dayvo]

HurraH, CONGRATS mR dAYVO

Thank yous!

FAR too much free time at the mo!

 

[trustysteed]

singing: the grand old dayvo of oslo, he had 10000 posts....

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Yey - 10,000!

All quality posts too!

 

[Dayvo]

Yey - 10,000!

The embarrassing thing is, almost NONE of mine were posted at work!

How bloody sad is that?

 

[Hilldodger]

Morecambe to the sound of a siren speeding by

"He won't sell much ice cream going at that speed"

 

[Chamfus Flange]

I've two things to say about God: "She's black"




.

 

[Chamfus Flange]

Man walks into an office and asks:

"understand I can get an argument here!

Reply from man at Desk:

"No you can't"

(Monty Python)


.

 

[Slim]

"I fart in your general direction! ""

Monty Python - Holy Grail I think (might be Jabberwocky).