NorthernDave
Never used Über Member
- Location
- The real Northern Powerhouse
Sarah Millican invented "barista style" instant coffee.
Odd factoids
- Thread starter Blue Hills
- Start date
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Sarah Millican's real name is Sarah Minivan, so named by her parents because of her resemblance to a Bedford C.F., particularly from behind.
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Bill Gate's wealth derives from a pair of necropants he won in a game of poker at High School
classic33
Leg End Member
Strip poker in fancy clothes.
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
And it wasn't poker with cards. It involved a fireplace poker and a tub of pig fat.
classic33
Leg End Member
“A man who wants to have such breeches must make an agreement with someone still alive that as soon as the latter dies, he can have the use of his skin. As soon as this happens, the survivor goes to the churchyard by night and digs the dead man up. He then flays the skin off from the waist down and slips it off in one piece, for he must take care that there is no hole in the breeches.”
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
classic33
Leg End Member
Next time you need a question answered, just follow these easy steps, and from the comfort of your own home, you, too, can summon a dark messenger of the gods.
Simply place an olivewood table that no one has ever sat on in the middle of the room and cover it with a tunic. Make a stack of four bricks under the table, put a clay incense burner in front of it, and start pounding wild goose fat and myrrh into balls.
Now just yell, “I invoke thee who art seated in the invisible darkness!” Say, “Send up to me this night thy archangel Zebourthanunen,” three times and stare at the table until dawn in complete silence.
If you’ve followed the steps correctly, an archangel with a nose on his feet should have appeared and should now be telling you the secret truths mankind was never meant to know. When he’s gone, simply write your goals on a tablet of reading the hours (any will do) and place it on the bricks, and your twisted desires for mankind will become our dark reality.
Invisiblity, as it turns out, isn’t that complicated. According to a 1,700-year-old spell, all you have to do is say these words: “Assesouo, dim the eyes of every man or woman, when I go forth, until I achieve as many things as I wish!” Then you just have to soak a few ingredients in “oil with crocodile dung” and rub it on your face.
A few words on the spell are illegible today, so we can’t really test it out—but the person who wrote it down clearly believed it worked. And that’s a fascinating thought because it implies that someone out there tried it thought it went pretty well.
Simply place an olivewood table that no one has ever sat on in the middle of the room and cover it with a tunic. Make a stack of four bricks under the table, put a clay incense burner in front of it, and start pounding wild goose fat and myrrh into balls.
Now just yell, “I invoke thee who art seated in the invisible darkness!” Say, “Send up to me this night thy archangel Zebourthanunen,” three times and stare at the table until dawn in complete silence.
If you’ve followed the steps correctly, an archangel with a nose on his feet should have appeared and should now be telling you the secret truths mankind was never meant to know. When he’s gone, simply write your goals on a tablet of reading the hours (any will do) and place it on the bricks, and your twisted desires for mankind will become our dark reality.
Invisiblity, as it turns out, isn’t that complicated. According to a 1,700-year-old spell, all you have to do is say these words: “Assesouo, dim the eyes of every man or woman, when I go forth, until I achieve as many things as I wish!” Then you just have to soak a few ingredients in “oil with crocodile dung” and rub it on your face.
A few words on the spell are illegible today, so we can’t really test it out—but the person who wrote it down clearly believed it worked. And that’s a fascinating thought because it implies that someone out there tried it thought it went pretty well.
tribanjules
Guru
- Location
- Birmingham
Surely that was the baby eating bishop of bath + wells ?
Nah. I can't really see that.
classic33
Leg End Member
Have you tried it though?
If the Sun were the size of a human blood cell ( which is 10 times smaller than anything that can be seen with the naked eye ) the Milky Way to the same scale would about the size of North America.
The Andromeda Galaxy our nearest galactic neighbour, on the same scale ,would be 91000 miles away.
The Andromeda Galaxy our nearest galactic neighbour, on the same scale ,would be 91000 miles away.
