True Facts About Ross Kemp

[Ming the Merciless]

Ross Kemp was the stunt double for Ronnie Corbett in the action movie Get Shorty.

 

[Moon bunny]

So, I was ambling down a street in Grange over Sands, when I espied Ross Kemp coming towards me, I checked my container of orange juice that I always carry for just such occasions, but as I did so Kemp must have spotted me, for he turned and ran off in the opposite direction; I gave chase and was almost on him when he suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned to face me, going down on his knees with his arms in the air, he pleaded for mercy, “Splosh me all you want, just don’t let that feathered horror get me!” he cried. At once I spotted the cause of his distress, a small white pigeon was on the path behind him. I took mercy on him and with a quick wave of my hand the bird was gone, being a sporting type I allowed Ross a 10 second start, however he made a tactical mistake and tried to take sanctuary in the station, which of course was closed, I caught him as he rattled at the door handle and cackling with terrible joy, gave him the sloshing of his life.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp never has salad with his kebab. If some hapless kebab seller should pop the question he typically clenches his fists and says, "are you calling me a ponce?"

 

[cyberknight]

Ross Kemp is so hard he does not even fear @Drago underwear .

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Ross Kemp is descended from Conan the Barbarian and Boudicca.

 

[Drago]

When it was announced that Ross Kemp was to be a guest presenter on Crimewatch every criminal in London handed themselves in before the episode even aired.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Ross Kemp belches so loud, that ship captains off the coast of south America think it’s their local lighthouse foghorn.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp sank the ARA Genaral Belgrano. He was doing one of his backstroke across an ocean dares for his mates down the pub when he accidentally headbutted the ships hull.

 

[Moon bunny]

Ross Kemp is so hard he does not even fear @Drago underwear .

Ross Kemp is so hard he wears Drago as underwear.

 

[stephec]

Ross Kemp is the love child of Drago and Pat Butcher.

 

[accountantpete]

Ross Kemp hosted the racy TV Show Pebble Mill At One (am)

 

[Drago]

The Austin Maxi was invented because the Mini couldn't accommodate Ross Kemp's bulging muscles.

 

[cyberknight]

When the world is threatened by AI domination the government plans to flood all media with endless reruns of east-enders featuring Ross Kemp in an attempt to convince skynet that humankind will never surrender

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp never has salad with his kebab. If some hapless kebab seller should pop the question he typically clenches his fists and says, "are you calling me a ponce?"

However he always has the most fiery kebab sauce available splashed liberally across the kebab meat

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp loves kebabs so much he sleeps on a slowly revolving spit while Steve McFadden ladels hot sauce over him.