True Facts About Ross Kemp
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp was born with his eyes letterboxed out to protect his identity.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
Actually, he was born with one of those pixellated faces you used to see on the telly, like in Crimewatch and stuff.
He waived his anonymity and had it surgically removed.
Many wish he hadn't...
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp's guest appearance presenting Crime watch was deemed a huge success after he identified every villian shown on the programme.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
... Walford?
I said black hole, not sh!thole.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp is so wealthy he uses cocaine in place of Shake N Vac.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp has signed on to replace Clarkson as host of Who Wants to be a Milllionaire, which will be renamed "Who Wants to Launder the Brinks Mat Bullion."
Dogtrousers
Lefty tighty. Get it righty.
The rain turns round and returns to the clouds when it sees Ross Kemp below
accountantpete
OAP
A survey of Tattooists revealed that the most popular female artwork was a "Ross Kemp Folded" on each buttock.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
During filming for a redent episode of Countryfile, Ross Kemp chased John Craven off his land with a pitchfork.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
Truly outRAGEOUS behaviour, what's the world coming too?!?!
I actually laughed out loud at that!
"GET OUT MY FARM!!"
accountantpete
OAP
The BBC have rebranded Top Gear as a Wig Show for the less hirsute fronted by Ross Kemp.
It's said to be like the automotive series but without seatbelts.
It's said to be like the automotive series but without seatbelts.
