Dogtrousers
Lefty tighty. Get it righty.
Ross Kemp has luxuriant hair. He has to follow a strict regime of head-shaving and depilatory creams. If he doesn't do this, then within two or three days he looks like Claudia Winkleman.
True Facts About Ross Kemp
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp, generous sole that he is, has delivered 3 tonnes of kiln dried firewood to Claudia Winkelman's house so she no longer needs to burn family me,bers to keep warm.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
The much anticipated "Rumble in the East End" fight between Mohammed Ali and Ross Kemp was called off when Ali was robbed by 2 lads on a Sur-ron on the way to the venue.
An unpleasant experience for sure, and Ali can't shake off the feeling hed heard the term "ponce" somewhere before...
An unpleasant experience for sure, and Ali can't shake off the feeling hed heard the term "ponce" somewhere before...
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Many complaints have been received by Walford Council about Ross Kemp parking his car wherever he can fit it on, or around Albert Square, even Steve McFadden says it’s out of order dumping that bl%#dy Saracen all over the square
- Location
- Inside my skull
Ross has been announced as the new host of Masterchef. The programme is going to renamed The Great British Fryup. Ross is quoted as saying “None of that other poncey crap for me”.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
When Antiques Roadshow visited Walford Ross Kemp brought along a sawn off shotgun for valuation.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
He also brought along a Trilby hat, at first they thought it was Accy's, but it turned out to be even more valuable as it was a special gift from the Kray Twins, who took it from Jack "The Hat" McVitie
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
All of Ross Kemp's clothes are made of leather, including his Y fronts.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Many years ago Ross Kemp had been signed to drive for the Jaguar F1 team, but was sacked after he turned up for the British "Grand Pricks" driving a Jaguar MK2 and wearing a balaclava.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Ross Kemp is considering his next move, after he was turned down for the part of Uncle Fester, in the new series of Wednesday on Netflix
Way-Out-West
Senior Member
- Location
- Pinno's attic
When Ross Kemp first auditioned for EastEnders, he wanted the name Wellard. When informed that the name had already been given to a dog, he bit the casting director and had to be muzzled.
dan_bo
How much does it cost to Oldham?
Just seen Kemp's phone bill- 78 calls to Kier Starmer asking for tips on charisma.
Dogtrousers
Lefty tighty. Get it righty.
Ross Kemp is only 18" tall. All of his television appearances are due to clever photographic trickery.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp writes an agony column in the Mafia Times.
