An answer to bike thieves?

[Drago]

All is forgiven.

Why? What's Ali been up to?

 

[Rooster1]

Why? What's Ali been up to?

He borrowed my bike, got me some KOMs, and I haven't seen him since.

 

[johnnyb47]

I just leave a photo of my ex wife on the bike when unattended. It keeps even the most hardened of criminals away through pure fear

 

[Dayvo]

This works well - as it does deter them: fortunately, that is, as I don't like the sight of blood, or body parts, near my bikes and would be almost reluctant to use it.

 

[snorri]

Per unit, but if they don't sell well I might do a BOGOF offer ...

You can Bog Off with that suggestion , thank you.

 

[Will Spin]

I think that what is being referred to is the use of a garden cane similar to those pictured below. When I was a child we used to try to stop people on bikes by inserting one of these through the the spokes of the front wheel. A note of caution though, you need to be certain that it is actually the bicycle thief who is riding the bike otherwise unfortunate consequences may occur. £25 will buy a bundle like the one below, which is probably a whole lifetime's supply.

Bamboo cane

• Will Spin
• 11 Apr 2017

 

[Yellow Saddle]

I think that what is being referred to is the use of a garden cane similar to those pictured below. When I was a child we used to try to stop people on bikes by inserting one of these through the the spokes of the front wheel. A note of caution though, you need to be certain that it is actually the bicycle thief who is riding the bike otherwise unfortunate consequences may occur. £25 will buy a bundle like the one below, which is probably a whole lifetime's supply.

Bamboo cane

• Will Spin
• 11 Apr 2017

Yes but these are visible.

 

[Smokin Joe]

Is "Going to give one a punt" some sort of sordid euphemism?

Maybe that's what he's been doing all day.

 

[jefmcg]

A note of caution though, you need to be certain that it is actually the bicycle thief who is riding the bike otherwise unfortunate consequences may occur.

(briefly serious) It's pretty nearly as bad - legally or morally - to maim a bike thief as to maim a regular punter**. Especially as even if the person was a thief, it's unlikely they will get convicted after you have maimed or killed them, so you will not have that defence.

**I chose to use the word "punter" even though it didn't really fit, for reasons that were obscure to me. @Smokin Joe's post makes it clear where I got the idea from.

 

[Drago]

Only if you're caught.

 

[Dayvo]

(briefly serious) It's pretty nearly as bad - legally or morally - to maim a bike thief as to maim a regular punter**. Especially as even if the person was a thief, it's unlikely they will get convicted after you have maimed or killed them, so you will not have that defence.

Only if you're caught.

Yeah, and who's going to find them 6' feet under in the middle of Epping Forest?

 

[Drago]

Feed them to the pigs.

 

[Tim Hall]

Feed them to the pigs.

Goody gumdrops.

 

[Salty seadog]

Feed them to the pigs.

Goody gumdrops.

"They will go through bone like butter."

 

[jefmcg]

I'm starting to worry about @porteous