Do you carry a weapon?

[MontyVeda]

Now as I feel too worried to cycle around the wilds of Luton unarmed. Do you know how I can mount a machine gun on my handle bars & if so which one will cause least drag?

sten gun

 

[Gravity Aided]

1) I own a Cannondale, and find neither cannon or loading capability for rounds thereon. It is far too light to contain any explosive force other than a sprint.
2) When dealing with the Grizzly Bear, machine pistols and sten guns will merely anger the beast.
3) I should think the Walther PPK would be appropriately tasteful for Luton, At least by what I see on Wikipedia.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

sten gun

You'd be better throwing the bullets

 

[Profpointy]

apparently one risk with bears is startling them - so people are advised to wear bells - a bit like morris dancers. If they hear you coming live-and-let-live seems fine - but making them jump isn't so good. And as a last resort a pepper spray.

Then as someone above has said, you need to distinguish between black bears & grizzly bears. Their dung is a good clue - black bears' dung has bits of nuts & berries in it whilst grizzly bear dung contains bells and smells of pepper...

...I thank you. I'm here all week

 

[flyingfish]

Look lads we are talking about Luton here. I think .50Cal is a sensible starting point

 

[Poacher]

[QUOTE 3156002, member: 259"]Ivor Cutler used to recommend carrying two small pebbles, which you could insert in the animal's nostrils if you were attacked by a leopard.[/QUOTE]
I hope sincerely that no-one is missing in action as a result of following this erroneous advice: this is Ivor's jungle tip for dealing with a lion.
"If a lion attacks, stoop swiftly, pick up two medium sized stones, and insert them deftly up his nostrils.
He will forget your presence temporarily in an attempt to remove the foreign bodies.
But do not wait around, for he will bound after you, and you will not play your trick a second time."

His method of dealing with a leopard is completely different:
"If a leopard attacks, find a nearby patch of mud, into which you may insert your thumbs and other fingers.
Then firmly, but swiftly, press them onto either cheek.
The leopard will confuse you for one of his own.
If you are a lady he may ravish you.
Submit peacefully, uttering hoarse cries at the climax.
Do not fear, you will not become heavy with child."

 

[stephec]

God's male.

I'm not even going to get into that one.

 

[stephec]

1)
3) I should think the Walther PPK would be appropriately tasteful for Luton, At least by what I see on Wikipedia.

I didn't know James Bond was from Luton?

 

[morrisman]

God's male.

Can you provide proof of this assertion?

 

[HovR]

So which do you do what for?
Not that there's many bears, of any colour, running wild round here.

Black bears (which, rather misleadingly, can also be brown, cinnamon, and a variety of other shades), are the better climbers. Black bear attacks are much more rare, and they tend to shy away, unless you get between a mother and her young. Grizzly bears, which can be differentiated by their larger size and shoulder humps, are still actually semi-decent climbers, but due to their larger size and weight are unable to get up towards the very tops of the trees.

The general rule is try to intimidate, and if necessary, fight back against black bears. If you don't have some sort of weapon during a grizzly attack, you better be real good at playing dead!

Either way, when out cycling on the old gated off logging roads in bear country, I prefer to carry some form of self defence. Thankfully there are no grizzlies in the areas I visit!

 

[glenn forger]

Did you hear Canadian Grizzlies are mating with Polar Bears who are moving south cos of climate change?

Know what the baby bears are called? "Growlers". I'm not making this up.

 

[HovR]

...although the grizzly bear would require something like a small cannon to stop him.

As I understand it the people who live or work in the outdoors around grizzly bears often do carry a gun similar to a small cannon! Not really practical on a bike, however.

 

[MontyVeda]

I once read that the best defence against a bear (black or grizzly) is a Magnum .45... but make sure you file off the sight on the end of the barrel, that way it won't hurt so much when the bear rams it up your ass.

 

[Joshua Plumtree]

God's male.

Can you provide proof of this assertion?

Yep, I've seen the pictures!

 

[ufkacbln]

Nah! Prayer saved his life: "Blasioli said he prayed for his life and almost immediately the bear ran away."

God does want you to wear a helmet though.

Or the bear thought:

He's probably a pro helmet campaigner, I'm off before they try to convince me I should wear one climbing trees!